Give me that “back in the day” love!
As I take the month of September to focus on relationships, daily I’m growing and learning new things about them. As a Libra ♎️ and therefore a hopeless romantic, as much as I hate to admit it, I love to see people in love and I love to experience it.
It’s just that in todays world, people don’t value love like they used to. Social media has most people so caught up in the aesthetics of a relationship, and not the foundation. They want the cute pictures, the Baecations, the matching pajamas, but lack the building blocks of what it takes to genuinely make it to those places. Let’s be honest, most peoples relationships are a front on social media. How many times have we seen couples photos on Christmas, but by January someone is posting about how the other cheated? It’s sad.
Another thing that social media does other than allow people to paint false realities, is put millions of other people at our fingertips. It’s as if we just look at the people we claim to love as replaceable! It’s so easy to post something to gain the attention of others. Then comes sneaky messages and disrespectful comments. So instead of staying and working things out when things get tough, you’ll just message other people, start collecting back ups and side pieces.
Some people never learned how to be alone with themselves so when at odds with a partner they are quick to entertain other people, jeopardizing their relationship.
I believe one of the main reasons, and something I personally experienced, is because of the lack of a proper example to see what real love should look like. A lot of the kids in my generation grew up in broken homes, so there was an absence of the relationship dynamic. No proper example of what a working relationship looks like, or what it entails. We saw dysfunction at best.
Another factor is one that’s become a pretty popular term; childhood trauma. A lot of you would be surprised if you knew how the things, people and environments, we experience in early childhood have such a impact on how we turnout as adults!
The way our parents cared for us plays a role. Resulting in some people carrying a lot of trauma which results in all sorts of different behaviors such as narcissism and selfishness, dictate your attachment styles and more.
So you want the perfect relationship? ( by perfect I mean by your own personal definition.) It takes work! Everyone wants that forever love and that tight bond, do you know what it takes to get there? If you had it would you know how to maintain it?
It takes a strong friendship, love, trust, loyalty, honesty, compromise, forgiveness, discipline and so much more.
When two people who love each other, make a conscious decision to be together exclusively, from the moment they decide, that means they no longer are only about self but it’s WE now. I now have to think about how my words, thoughts, actions and delivery effect you and vice versa. We are focusing on building a better us daily! This means when we disagree, no matter what we work it out. If there’s an issue we talk it out with ego aside and resolve it. If needed we’ll take some time away from the heat and come back when things are calm and stable. We will give each other respect and listen, when necessary we’ll apologize, when necessary we will forgive and properly move forward, and live by the golden rule; do unto others as you would have done to you. These things take a lot of discipline and self control! But when you’ve found your person you’ll let nothing stop you from being together! #TRMT9
-TraiDaCoach
